Jesus Told Me He Wants Me to Blog More

In the fifty-second year, in the third month on the third day, as I was checking my Google Analytics, I looked, and behold, I saw a light brighter than the noonday sun, and the voice of one like the Son of Man spoke to me from within.

“I see you have a blog.”

“Yes, Lord, you know that I do.”

“How’s the traffic?”

“Good, Lord–though, without you, which of us would get but a handful of pageviews.”

“Stop that. I have a job for you. I want you to blog more.”

“Oh Lord–you who rule the internet with wisdom and justice–who am I that you should be mindful of the humble state of your servant? Yet, if it is your will, Oh Lord, that many more will hear, let it be done.”

“I told you to stop that. Now listen. I want you to blog more–for you.”

“…not sure I follow….”

“Frankly, I hate the internet, but you seem to like it. So, I want you to blog as much as possible because blogging gives you all sorts of opportunities to practice.”  

“Practice what? Formulating my thoughts in under 800 words? Coming up with catchy titles? Learning the craft of writing?”

“No, not remotely. Blogging gives you chances to practice what I mean when I say ‘follow me.’”

“Oh, is this about me needing to be more orthodox. Because if it is…I mean, listen…all this is hard to figure out, and I’m doing my best, but those Southern Baptists and Neo-Calvinists just drive me….”

“No, it’s not about what you say (although sometimes you do weird me out a bit). It’s about what happens after.”

“You mean checking the statistics all evening while I’m watching 3 hours of Big Bang Theory, because I can try to tone that down. I thought of giving it up for lent.” 

“You know me better than that. I’m all into inner transformation, not a check list of does and don’ts.”

“That’s a relief.”

“No it’s not. This is much harder. I want you to blog a lot to so you can begin to work on all that garbage inside of you that surfaces every time you post something.”

“What garbage?”

“Well, for one, you can work on not hating people who disagree with you.”

“I don’t ‘hate’ people who disagree with me.”

“Come off it. You  practically have to tie yourself to the neighbor’s mailbox to keep from firing off a ‘response’ to negative comments, and even if you stop yourself, you brood about it. And, on the other side, you feel warm and glowy inside when someone thinks your posts should be collected, trimmed with gold, and inserted between Jude and Revelation. Here’s the question you need to learn how to answer: what is going on inside of you that generates those kinds of reactions?”

“I don’t know. Sin?”

“Bravo, but this isn’t a theology exam. What you need to do is the hard work of seeing yourself more clearly, and there’s no better way to get at that than to find those things that make you either very angry or very happy and take them apart bit by bit until you get to the bottom of why. When you get there, then you’ll know what sin really means. If blogging happens to be the doorway into your deep down self, I’m good with that. I’ve worked with less.”

“You sound like a therapist.”

“You sound like you need one.”

“I’m not sure I’m going to like this.”

“That right there already tells you something you need to know. Welcome to the journey.”

“Uh?”

And then, as if waking from a dream, I got ready for the day, poured some coffee, and pondered these things.