{"id":7359,"date":"2024-01-29T10:48:20","date_gmt":"2024-01-29T05:18:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/29\/3-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-responding-to-criticism\/"},"modified":"2024-01-29T10:48:20","modified_gmt":"2024-01-29T05:18:20","slug":"3-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-responding-to-criticism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/29\/3-questions-to-ask-yourself-when-responding-to-criticism\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Questions to Ask Yourself When Responding to Criticism"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/p>\n

\n

Several years ago, I spoke at a two-part event and had the opportunity to connect with some of the attendees after the second session. It was wonderful to meet folks, hear their hearts, and answer their questions. Well, it was\u00a0<\/em>wonderful, I should say until I met one person who had specifically returned to the second session\u00a0<\/em>in order to criticize my speaking and writing style\u2014in front of the entire crowd. He even brought me his book<\/em>, telling me I had a lot to learn from it.<\/p>\n

While I generally value critique from those I love\u2014I always want to improve my craft\u2014this was something else entirely. I left that event feeling small, ripped apart, and confused. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Should I have avoided this event altogether? Should I have never walked on that stage?<\/em><\/p>\n

The next week, I visited with a mentor in order to process the best way to respond to this experience. She said this: \u201cThere is a big difference between going under the knife of a surgeon you trust and being stabbed in the alley by a stranger. It sounds like you were stabbed, but you\u2019re blaming yourself for even being in the alley in the first place. This was not your fault. This was a stab wound.\u201d<\/p>\n

While the metaphor is graphic, the sentiment is helpful. There\u2019s a stark difference between helpful feedback from someone invested in you and harmful critique from a random person who loves to voice their opinions.<\/p>\n

Sadly, many of us often internalize any and all critique as \u201cproof\u201d that we are inadequate imposters. But the truth is\u2014if God has called you to serve him in a public arena of any kind, the opinions of others will undoubtedly come your way. But not all of those opinions deserve your time or energy. \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Whatever field you are in, learning how to discern criticism is essential. What is worth humbly heeding, and what deserves to be chucked straight into the garbage bin?<\/p>\n

When navigating criticism, here are three questions we can ask:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Has this person earned the relational credit or role to speak into my life?<\/strong> Ezekiel the prophet<\/a>, when preparing to drop some pretty intense God-words on Israel, first laid on his left side for over a year, then on his right side for forty days. Ezekiel humbled himself before the Lord and bore his people\u2019s punishment. In doing so, he proved his right to be their prophet. And most importantly, Ezekiel did this before\u00a0<\/em>he ever opened his mouth to the Israelites. Though that\u2019s an extreme example, ask yourself if this critic has actually proven to be a prophetic voice in your life. Have they earned the relational credit or the honor? Have they invested in your craft and your growth in God? If so, then this is perhaps a voice worth hearing. If not, don\u2019t even give a sliver of your heart to it.<\/li>\n
  2. Is this person critiquing me with an attitude of respect?<\/strong> After hearing my critic\u2019s comments that night, I initially wondered if God was trying to speak to me through him. Soon, though, I began to ask myself something else\u2014is this how God typically speaks to his children? With condemnation and shame? No! God speaks dignity over us. God moves with compassion and love. Yes, the Spirit convicts us of sin. Yes, God wants us to grow. But it is God\u2019s kindness, after all, leads to repentance<\/a> (Romans 2:4<\/a>). Criticism that comes from a place of condemnation is not from God. Let that go. Allow God to remove the shards of condemning critique and replace them with a crown of beauty and a robe of dignity.<\/li>\n
  3. Is this a meaningful critique of my actual\u00a0<\/em>work?<\/strong> I have a good friend who wrote a beautiful book about spiritual disciplines. An online reviewer criticized her for neglecting to add recipes to it. But she wasn\u2019t writing a cookbook! In the same way that we don\u2019t critique movies for not\u00a0<\/em>being songs and we don\u2019t criticize singers for not having home improvement shows, we must use common sense when receiving (and giving) critique. Is this a wise word about my actual<\/em> job performance? Or is this person holding me to an unfair set of standards based on another outcome or an entirely different field? If it\u2019s not related to your calling or your purposes, it\u2019s best to ignore that type of critique. However, if it\u2019s wisdom from an expert in your\u00a0<\/em>field, it\u2019s worth taking the time to consider. \u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I still have my critic\u2019s book in my possession. One day, I might take it out of my cabinet and laugh about it. Or I might actually read it and learn something. Or I might have a fun bonfire. Either way, I know that there is a tribe of people in my corner helping me grow and mature\u2014their voices are worth hearing.<\/p>\n

    Photo Credit: \u00a9GettyImages\/Nattakorn Maneerat<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n

    LISTEN: Let Our Bible Study Expert Help You Start the New Year Right!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

    Have you ever chosen a word for the year? Whether you pick a word each year or never have before, I think this episode will help you order your life in the year to come. If you don’t know what your word is, today might be a great day for you to hear some of the things that we are promised in Christ that you in faith can claim for yourself for 2024. Keep in mind, each of these words requires faith.<\/p>\n

    \"Aubrey<\/source><\/picture>Aubrey Sampson<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0is a pastor, author, speaker, and cohost of <\/em>The Common Good <\/em><\/a>on AM1160 in Chicago. You can\u00a0<\/em>preorder her upcoming children\u2019s book<\/em><\/a>,\u00a0<\/em>Big Feeling Days: A Book About Hard Things, Heavy Emotions, and Jesus\u2019 Love, and find and follow her @aubsamp on Instagram. Go to <\/em>aubreysampson.com<\/em><\/a> for more.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n