Getting there is all about dying, and each cycle of dying and rising we come to in our lives brings us, I believe, to greater insight into our deep selves, where Christ lives \u201cin us\u201d and our lives are \u201chidden\u201d in God [Colossians 3:3<\/a>].<\/em><\/p>\n Of course, we all know that dying, rising again, Christ in me, hidden in God, and seated in heaven are metaphors\u2014the use of common language to grasp the uncommon, a reality too deep and thick for conventional vocabulary. Following Jesus is an inside-out transformation so thorough that dying and coming back to life is the best way to put it.<\/em><\/p>\n Doubt signals that this process of dying and rising is underway. Though God feels far away, at that moment God may be closer than we realize\u2014especially if \u201cknow what you believe\u201d is how we\u2019re used to thinking of our faith.<\/em><\/p>\n Doubt<\/a> isn\u2019t cool, hipster, or chic. Doubt isn\u2019t a new source of pride. Don\u2019t go looking for doubt; don\u2019t tempt it to arrive out of time. But neither is doubt the terrifying final word.<\/em><\/p>\n Doubt is divine tough love. God means to have all of us, not just the surface, going-to-church, volunteering part. Not just the part people see, but the parts so buried no one sees them.<\/em><\/p>\n Not even us.<\/em><\/p>\n from\u00a0The Sin of Certainty<\/a><\/em>, pp. 164-65<\/p>\n<\/div>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/peteenns.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/04\/Labryinth-300x200.jpg\")
Being \u201csaved\u201d by God is an ongoing process of growth and transformation, of dying and rising, of being \u201cconformed to the image of his [God\u2019s] Son,\u201d as Paul puts it (Rom. 8:29<\/a>). Following Jesus means experiencing the taste of resurrection and ascension now\u2014whether doing laundry, paying bills, or leading nations.<\/em><\/p>\nDoubt is sacred. Doubt is God\u2019s instrument, will arrive in God\u2019s time, and will come from unexpected places\u2014places out of your control. And when it does, resist the fight-or-flight impulse. Pass through it\u2014patiently, honestly, and courageously for however long it takes. True transformation takes time.<\/em><\/h2>\n
Being conscious of this process does not relieve the pain of doubt, but it may help circumnavigate our corrupted instinct, which is to fear doubt as the enemy to be slain. Rather, supported by people we trust not to judge us, we work on welcoming the process as a gift\u2014which is hard to do when our entire life narrative is falling down around us. But we are learning in that season, as Qohelet did, to trust God anyway and not to trust our \u201ccorrect\u201d thinking about God.<\/em><\/p>\n