{"id":1570,"date":"2023-09-12T07:20:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-12T07:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/2023\/09\/12\/advice-for-moving-on-from-your-partners-previous-sex-life-a-husbands-perspective-on-his-ex-porn-star-spouse\/"},"modified":"2023-09-12T07:20:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-12T07:20:00","slug":"advice-for-moving-on-from-your-partners-previous-sex-life-a-husbands-perspective-on-his-ex-porn-star-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/2023\/09\/12\/advice-for-moving-on-from-your-partners-previous-sex-life-a-husbands-perspective-on-his-ex-porn-star-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Advice for Moving On from Your Partner&#8217;s Previous Sex Life: A Husband&#8217;s Perspective on His Ex-Porn Star Spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div id=\"article_content\">\n<header>\n<h2 class=\"subtitle\">&#8216;You are a new creation in Christ,&#8217; Richard De La Mora of Love Always Ministries says<\/h2>\n<div class=\"article-byline has-tools\">\n<div class=\"article-tools\"><a href=\"#cp-talk\" class=\"has-number talk-cp-255470\" data-scrollto=\".viafoura\" aria-label=\"Go to comments\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.christianpost.com\/assets\/img\/icon\/chat-rect.svg\" alt=\"\"\/><span class=\"number\"\/><\/a><a href=\"\" class=\"js-share\" aria-label=\"Share\" id=\"share-btn\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.christianpost.com\/assets\/img\/icon\/share-outline.svg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/header>\n<figure class=\"img-box align-center center\" itemscope=\"\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\"><picture width=\"760\" height=\"422\"><source type=\"image\/webp\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn.christianpost.com\/images\/cache\/image\/15\/01\/150182_w_760_422.webp\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.christianpost.com\/images\/cache\/image\/15\/01\/150182_w_760_422.png\" class=\"type:primaryImage\" width=\"760\" height=\"422\"\/><\/source><\/picture><figcaption class=\"caption\"><span class=\"photo-des\">Ex-porn star Brittni De La Mora and her pastor husband Richard shares advice to Christians during a &#8220;Let&#8217;s Talk Purity&#8221; Podcast. <\/span> | <span class=\"credit\">Screengrab: YouTube\/ LOVE ALWAYS MINISTRIES <\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Ex-porn star Brittni De La Mora and her husband, Richard De La Mora of<a href=\"https:\/\/www.lovealwaysministries.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> Love Always Ministries<\/a>, answered listeners&#8217; questions about getting past a spouse&#8217;s sexual history.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Richard shared in a Sept. 1 <a href=\"https:\/\/player.edifi.app\/episodes\/Getting-Past-Your-Partner's-Sexual-Past\/6090893?ts=1694201762514\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">episode<\/a> of the couple\u2019s \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/player.edifi.app\/channels\/Let's-Talk-Purity\/26147?ts=1694455738103\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Let\u2019s Talk Purity<\/a>\u201d podcast on the <a href=\"https:\/\/edifi.app\/podcasts\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Edifi Podcast Network<\/a> how, in his marriage, he&#8217;s had to learn to look past his wife\u2019s sexual history and the knowledge that she spent nearly a decade of her life leading a sexually promiscuous lifestyle.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was in the porn industry for seven years. This is something that my amazing, wonderful, loving, graceful, competent, strong husband has had to overlook \u2014 the amount of people that I&#8217;ve been with and the amount of footage that still, unfortunately, is on the internet,\u201d Brittni said.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><iframe data-duration=\"24:01\" style=\"width: 1px; min-width: 100%;\" height=\"510\" src=\"https:\/\/player.edifi.app\/embed\/index.html#\/episodes\/Getting-Past-Your-Partner's-Sexual-Past\/6090893\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen=\"\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>If it wasn\u2019t for Jesus and the grace of God, Richard said he would not have been able to avoid harshly judging his wife over her sexual history.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne of the ways that I overlooked your past is to understand that you are a new creation in Christ. I think it isn&#8217;t fair, at times, if we judge a person&#8217;s past and we think that they&#8217;re the same person who they were a few years ago,\u201d Richard stressed, referencing <a href=\"https:\/\/bibleportal.com\/verse-topic?v=2+Corinthians+5%3A17-21&amp;version=NLT\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">2 Corinthians 5: 17-21<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou made broken decisions, and your broken decisions did create somewhat of an interesting past because of the videos you went into. But that was your past. That&#8217;s not who you are now. \u2026 That&#8217;s relevant in my book because that&#8217;s not who you are today. You&#8217;re a new creation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Richard said he\u2019ll never forget the day he first met his wife. On that day, he had no idea she had been in the adult film industry.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cA lot of these bloggers or people who write comments always say, \u2018Wow, look at this. This pastor went after a porn star.\u2019 \u2026 I didn&#8217;t even know you were in the adult film industry. I just love people, and I love Jesus and \u2026 I would happen to see you in church,\u201d he recounted.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>When the De La Moras first discussed their sexual history with one another it wasn&#8217;t an easy conversation.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI had to learn, first off, to remind myself that you\u2019re a \u2018new creation in Christ.\u2019 But the second thing I had to do, I had to accept it. And whenever you accept something, you die to it. I had to die with the fact that you were an ex-porn star. I had to die with knowing that you have hundreds of movies out there that people can go watch and see,\u201d Richard De La Mora said.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhenever you die in that area, it doesn&#8217;t affect you. Because you can&#8217;t affect a dead person. When you accept that your partner has a past, your partner has made a mistake, you end up dying to yourself. And when you die to yourself, you can live again.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Empathizing with people struggling with accepting their spouse&#8217;s sexual past, he added: \u201cI think the first thing that we need to do is we need to learn to accept it. As you learn to accept it, it helps you to move forward and move on. And the moment that you don&#8217;t accept it is the moment that those insecurities are going to be present in and through your life, and you&#8217;re not going to be able to walk in freedom,\u201d he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Brittni noted that anyone who is trying to move past their spouse&#8217;s sexual history should try \u201cto see the fruit of the person\u2019s life.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMaybe that is their past, but what does their life look like now? Because, for me, yes, porn was my past. Sleeping around, hookup culture, that was my past. But Jesus has made me a new creation where, you know what, I couldn&#8217;t even operate that way anymore. Not even if I try,\u201d the former porn star said.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can&#8217;t even wear a bikini nowadays. Why? Because I don&#8217;t want people looking at me like that because Jesus Christ has set me free. I\u2019m a new creation. I look at myself differently. I value myself differently because of my relationship with the Lord.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Brittni said her husband decided to pursue her and eventually marry her because he saw her for how Christ had transformed her life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>She said that often, someone might need to evaluate who they are dating if that person is claiming to be a \u201cnew creation in Christ,\u201d but their words and deeds show otherwise.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think that when you see the fruit of somebody&#8217;s life, it can make it easier, she added, offering examples of dating someone who claims to be transformed by Christ but continue to cuss and post provocative photos of themselves.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThen, maybe \u2026 it&#8217;s making you insecure because you know that person could have the temptation to go backward because they haven&#8217;t fully allowed Christ to transform their life.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Married people must be careful, Richard cautioned, because the enemy will try to pollute one&#8217;s mind with judgmental thoughts about their partner\u2019s sexual pasts.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen the enemy tries to throw those things at me&#8217; [I reply], \u2018No, my wife is not a product of her past. She&#8217;s a product of grace. Yeah, she might have done those movies in her past, but it&#8217;s in her past.\u2019 \u2026 It doesn&#8217;t matter. Right. Because she&#8217;s a new creation,\u201d Richard reiterated.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe enemy is going to try to throw those at you to create insecurities. And why is he going to do that? The main goal is to not allow you and your relationship and your marriage to flourish. \u2026 The enemy will do whatever it takes to bring disunity,\u201d he continued.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Brittni added, \u201cWhether it&#8217;s with somebody that has a sexual history or doesn&#8217;t have a sexual history, the enemy\u2019s main goal is to disunify [and] to destroy while [breaking] apart every piece of your life.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you&#8217;re married to somebody with a sexual history, he&#8217;s going to attack you in that way. If you are married to somebody that doesn&#8217;t have a sexual history, he&#8217;s going to attack you in other ways,\u201d she said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>One way to combat a sinful and judgmental mindset in this area is with the Word of God, Brittni said: \u201cIf you&#8217;re battling with all of this and thoughts of your partner&#8217;s sexual past and you&#8217;re not spending time in the Word of God, you need the Word of God to renew your mind. It\u2019s only His truth that sets you free.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy are you thinking so much about their sexual history? Because in you there&#8217;s a fear and an insecurity. \u2018What if they do that to me? What if she cheats on me the way she cheated on her ex? What if he divorces me the way he divorced his last wife?\u2019 And you start to think of all these things,\u201d she elaborated. \u201cBut when you&#8217;re planted and rooted in the Word of God, you&#8217;re planted and rooted in His Spirit, you start to discern the thoughts of God versus the thoughts of the enemy. \u2026 You can start to rebuke those thoughts and then start to focus on things that are noble, praiseworthy and true.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"article_credit\">\n<p><em>Nicole Alcindor is a reporter for The Christian Post.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"eoa_freedom_post\">\n<h2><span>Free<\/span> Religious Freedom Updates<\/h2>\n<p>Join thousands of others to get the <strong>FREEDOM POST<\/strong> newsletter for free, sent twice a week from The Christian Post.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.christianpost.com\/news\/tips-to-let-go-of-spouses-past-sex-life-ex-porn-stars-husband.html\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8216;You are a new creation in Christ,&#8217; Richard De La Mora of Love Always Ministries says Ex-porn star Brittni De La Mora and her pastor husband Richard shares advice to Christians during a &#8220;Let&#8217;s Talk Purity&#8221; Podcast. | Screengrab: YouTube\/ LOVE ALWAYS MINISTRIES Ex-porn star Brittni De La Mora and her husband, Richard De La [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1571,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[]},"categories":[43],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1570"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1570"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1570\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1571"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cccfornews.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}