The Crossway Podcast<\/em> on Marriage, Family, and Parenting<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\nTopics Addressed in This Interview:<\/h2>\n
Matt Tully<\/em>
Paul, thanks so much for joining me again on The Crossway Podcast<\/em>.<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I always love our conversations, so I\u2019m glad we\u2019re doing it again.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Today we\u2019re going to talk about some common questions and issues that I think parents often face in relation to raising teenage children, years of a child\u2019s life that can come with their own unique set of joys but also, obviously, some challenges too. But before we get into some of those specific teen-related questions that parents sometimes have, I wonder if you could cast a broader vision for us for a moment. Big picture, how should parents think about their role as parents? What\u2019s our job as parents when it comes to our kids?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
The phrase that I always use when I\u2019m asked this question is that you are positioned by God to be his primary tool in the forming of this child\u2019s soul. I can\u2019t think of anything that is more important than that. This child will develop a view of themselves, a view of the meaning and purpose of life, a view of right and wrong, a view of spiritual things (God). You have an enormous opportunity and an essential calling to be part of the formation of all those things because how you answer all those questions will determine how you live your life. And so every day is full of opportunities. The heart and soul of a child is not formed in four or five dramatic moments. It\u2019s formed in a hundred thousand little moments of everyday life, little conversations that begin to shape the way a child thinks about life. Let me give you an example. My youngest son is now a sports broadcaster. He was an avid basketball player. He played basketball in high school, and he would come home after school and right away change and go out back and shoot free throws in sets of a hundred. And he came in one day and I was working on dinner, and he had the ball in his arms, sweaty, and he said, \u201cI want to ask you a question.\u201d I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d He said, \u201cHow do you know when a good thing in your life, like basketball, becomes an idol in your life?\u201d I was never happier as a parent because of the fact that he would ever have that thought in his brain at fifteen-years-old. I just walked across the kitchen, threw my arms around him, and said, \u201cPraise God, praise God, praise God you\u2019re asking that question!\u201d Now what that meant is this whole issue of worship, which is the most formative thing you could talk about, because human beings are worshipers, had gotten inside of him. He had internalized that, and on his own he was thinking about, What if my love for basketball is beginning to replace God in my life?<\/em> Well, that\u2019s a wonderful thing for a child to be thinking about, but that was the result of endless conversations we had about that issue. So you\u2019re in a formative position to help shape the identity, the meaning and purpose, the spirituality, the worldview of this child. What could be more important in life than that?<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s so helpful and such a good reminder for us as parents. It makes me think that you have a whole other book that you\u2019ve written with Crossway called Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family<\/em>. I think it\u2019s a wonderful spot where you go into some of this in more detail. You help to shape the mind and the imagination of the parent in terms of what their role is.<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I think often, and I understand why this happens, well-meaning parents reduce parenting down to getting your child to do stuff and getting them to stop doing stuff. You forget that they\u2019re doing or they\u2019re not doing flows out of what they think about themselves, what they think about life, what they think about God, what they think about joy and happiness and satisfaction and where they are to be found. So you\u2019ve got to get at the reason for the behavior, or you\u2019re never going to be successful in seeing that behavior change.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Let\u2019s keep that in mind\u2014those principles and even that broader vision of what our role as parents is\u2014as we dig into some of the specific questions and issues that parents of teens will sometimes face. And I think probably few issues are more ever-present for young people today than issues related to gender and sexuality. It feels like our culture is just awash in confusion on these, and teens in particular tend to encounter these in maybe a uniquely concentrated and powerful way. Big picture: How should parents approach these sensitive issues with their teens?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I want to, again, give a backdrop here that what\u2019s happening during the teen years that\u2019s different than the early childhood years is teens are now internalizing their view of their identity. Little children just accept whatever identity you assign to them, but with a teenager, he or she wants to know, Who am I? How do I understand all the things that are going on inside of me? And so the issue is bigger than gender; the issue is a fundamental question of identity. If we weren\u2019t in this present culture of gender chaos, that issue of identity would still be there. It\u2019s human. That\u2019s why in Genesis, when God creates Adam and Eve, he immediately begins to talk to them. Why? Because they don\u2019t know who they are. They don\u2019t know what their life is about. They don\u2019t know what they\u2019re supposed to be doing. They need truth outside of themselves in order to make sense out of life. So unless this child is rooted in a fundamental creation way of thinking about their identity, here\u2019s what\u2019ll happen. They\u2019ll ask bad questions and they\u2019ll get to bad answers. And so you don\u2019t just fight the battle of gender in isolation. It\u2019s got to be placed in the bigger issue of, Who is this human being named Josh, who\u2019s been placed on planet earth? Who is he? And where do I get the answer to that question? Who is the ultimate authority of my identity? Who\u2019s the ultimate definer of my identity?<\/em> Well, we would say the Bible immediately answers that question in the first couple of chapters of the Bible, and then it elaborately expands that answer through the rest of Scripture. So if you haven\u2019t started there, then it\u2019s very hard to talk about gender because what the culture says is, You\u2019re the authority over your identity, and you can choose to be what you want to be. The choice is yours<\/em>. Well, that starting statement is wrong, let alone all the other biological, physiological things that people say about gender that aren\u2019t true. The statement that I have the right to determine my gender is just wrong from the beginning. So you can\u2019t really have the conversation unless you\u2019re looking to some kind of authority that has the right to define who you are. Now, there\u2019s a second issue here. The first issue is authority. The second issue is influence. You have to realize that your children, because they\u2019re meaning makers and they\u2019re seeking for understanding, are always under influence. They\u2019re always listening to voices because they\u2019re searching. You know how people have that wand at the shore and they try to hover above the sand to see what they could find? That\u2019s exactly what human teenagers are doing. They\u2019re hovering above life, real close to the surface, searching for the major answers to questions of life. And they\u2019re gonna do it, they\u2019re listening, and so I\u2019ve got to ask the question, Who\u2019s influencing my teenager? Where are they going to get their answers? You may have, if you\u2019re fortunate, a fifteen-minute conversation with your teenager at dinner\u2014most parents would think that was a huge gift\u2014but your child has been under other influences for seven, eight hours. No wonder children at that age get confused. So I have to know the influences and the voices that are influencing my children. And there\u2019s a good possibility those voices are on social media. And who are they? Is it responsible\u2014this is another issue, but I\u2019m going to speak to it\u2014is it responsible to give a child who\u2019s internalizing the major issues of life the ability to have a private cell phone connected to social media at thirteen or fourteen? Is it possible for a child to develop a healthy view of self if that\u2019s his major influence? So you\u2019re dealing with authority and influence. The third issue is you\u2019ve got to handle these issues with patience and grace because a child who feels like he\u2019s under attack and he\u2019s not understood will build walls and go into hiding. You can\u2019t let, as a parent, your fear cause you to overreact and drive your child underground. You have to have your response to your child rooted in faith and not in fear. What does that mean? It means I understand that I don\u2019t have to load the burden of the welfare of my child upon my shoulders every day because that burden is carried by my Savior. He has already made a choice to place this child in a family of faith because he cares for this child, and so I have to believe that God will give me opportunities to have the kinds of conversations I need to have with my child as we\u2019re negotiating these very difficult things in life. <\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Paul, in recent years there\u2019s been a lot of discussion about the dangers of the so-called purity culture of a previous generation. As parents, we want to protect our kids from impurity, and we want to encourage them to pursue godliness. But sometimes it\u2019s hard to know how to do that exactly. So I wonder, do you have any thoughts on navigating the issue of purity, maybe even broadly defined? How do we encourage our kids towards that?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I think that for me the problem of purity culture was not that we don\u2019t want to encourage our children to be committed to an absolutely pure life before God. It\u2019s that it tended to address behavioral commitments versus heart issues. For example, there were some people who would have a ceremony and give children a purity ring. I think it\u2019s pretty obvious that a purity ring doesn\u2019t keep me from lust. So I can have a purity ring, but I have an inward battle. Let\u2019s say I\u2019m a boy, and I become alive to the shape of girls, and I\u2019m growing in my sexuality and my awareness, and all of a sudden I\u2019m interested in things I wasn\u2019t once interested in. That whole thing isn\u2019t solved by signing a piece of paper and getting a ring any more than sort of legalistically reading the Bible in the morning will keep you from sinning that day. The purpose of a devotional life is to draw my heart toward God because I have to be in a position, let\u2019s say as a teenager, where I believe that God is holy all the time and in every way, and he\u2019s infinitely wise. Now, those two things together would tell me that it\u2019s impossible for God to ever ask anything of me that isn\u2019t good for me. It\u2019s impossible for him to guide me to any place that isn\u2019t the right place to be. And so I want to have those kinds of conversations about What are you telling yourself will satisfy you? What are you telling yourself where joy will be found? How are you handling issues of lust as a teenager? And so I\u2019m trying to get at the heart of what purity is about. Purity is a commitment of the heart that\u2019s lived out in behavior. That\u2019s why Jesus said if a man looks after a woman to lust after her, he\u2019s already committed adultery in his heart. Jesus didn\u2019t put the fences at behavior; he moved the fences inside to the heart because unless your fences are there, you\u2019ll jump over any other fence that you erect.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s so helpful, especially for all these topics when it comes to our teens. As you already said, so often our temptation with our kids can be to erect these fences, to create these rules, and really pursue behavior modification sometimes at the expense of really doing the harder work, probably, of digging into the heart and trying to help our kids love the right thing rather than just do the right thing.<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Absolutely. I was counseling a teenager\u2019s father\u2014again, I think this was well-meaning and I think he actually loved his son, but his son was just in love with the world and would get out of his room at night. He would go to bed at a certain time, and his father put locks on the window so they couldn\u2019t get open. I think he nailed him shut and put a lock on the door. Well, the boy snuck tools in one night, quietly took the pins out of the door so he could take the door off, took the lock set off the door, got a shovel, went down the street, and buried it. Now, what\u2019s the moral of that story? Inside the locked room was a boy whose heart had not changed a bit. And not even locks were able to keep him. We want heart change. I don\u2019t want to have to be the prisoner of my teenager. I want to be able to say, Sure, go<\/em>\u2014because I know I can trust them because their hearts have been developed to love God and believe that God\u2019s way is the best way. So they can be trusted.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
I think that connects to one of the biggest challenges of parenting, though, is that as parents we so often want to be able to control our kids. We can control the locks on the doors. Those are things that are theoretically in our control, but we kind of eventually come face to face with I can\u2019t control my kids heart. I can help, I can point them in the right direction, but fundamentally, I don\u2019t have any control over that. Is that a dynamic that we just have to come to terms with? How do you think about that?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Sure. I think there are two issues. First of all, change in a person\u2019s heart is always a divine act of grace. No human being, by the force of their personality, by the threat of punishment, by control and manipulation, has the ability to change the character and content of another human being\u2019s heart. That\u2019s why we love the gospel. That\u2019s why Jesus had to come. If human beings could alter the content of human hearts, Jesus would have never had to come. So that\u2019s basic to what we believe. The other thing that\u2019s operating is in God\u2019s plan, a child early in life needs lots of authority and lots of instruction, but my job in parenting is to work myself out of a job so that this child has internalized the right thing, they\u2019re capable of making good decisions, they\u2019re capable of wanting to be on their own. So there\u2019s a natural inclination in teenagers to want to have some freedom. That\u2019s what God planned for them. Finally, enough freedom to establish their own home. You have your lack of control and the desire of the child for freedom. I always say fight your major battles early so that you\u2019re establishing good things so as a child gets to teenage years, he\u2019s prepared for what those years will throw at him. But you must never say to yourself, If it\u2019s the last thing I\u2019ll do, I\u2019ll get my children to obey<\/em>. I am only ever an instrument of change in God\u2019s hands. I\u2019m never the agent of change.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s good. That\u2019s good. Let\u2019s talk about one of those major battles\u2014fight those battles early. Maybe one of the biggest battles you\u2019ve already referenced that we can sometimes face with teens relates to phones. And so I do wonder if you could speak to that a little bit. What would you say to the parent listening right now who\u2019s like, Paul, just tell me how old is the right age for me to get my kid their first phone?<\/em><\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Are you fastening your seatbelt and putting on your crash helmet? Because here we go. I don\u2019t think, given the kind of power and influence that we now know social media has\u2014there is a whole set of therapy and mental health counseling issues that teenagers are now struggling with that research says are directly connected to social media\u2014so I don\u2019t think it\u2019s responsible to hand your child a phone until sixteen\u2014I\u2019m not done\u2014then, not connected to social media. So they have a little more freedom. They can be out and about. They\u2019re able to connect with friends. They\u2019re able to keep in contact with you and you with them. And so you\u2019ve expanded their freedom, but they\u2019re not able to live on social media. I would say you shouldn\u2019t allow a child to be connected to social media until eighteen, and maybe even later than that. These rules are never hard and fast. You have to know your own child. Some children are wiser than others. Some children are more susceptible to influence than others. There\u2019s just kinds of things they\u2019d be attracted to. There\u2019s just not the kind of messages you want your child to have. Now, you have to help your child, lovingly, through the fact that they\u2019re going to feel like they\u2019re a freak at school, and though that\u2019s hard. When I was growing up, I wanted to go to parties that my parents wouldn\u2019t let me go to. That was hard. And I got made fun of. But I\u2019m so thankful that my parents made those choices for me because so much of what my classmates got involved with that actually set the direction for their lives, I had no exposure to, and I\u2019m so thankful. So you got to be willing to have your children upset at you and think you\u2019re weird and regressive in order to properly protect your children. Let me say it this way. You could reduce parenting down to three important things. Instruction\u2014I\u2019m doing that by my life and by my words. Protection\u2014that means I have to make decisions for you to protect your heart and your physical body. And provision\u2014to provide the things necessary for you to be healthy spiritually and physically. Instruction, protection, and provision.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
I can imagine there\u2019s some parents listening right now who would say, I see the negative impacts of phones and social media on my kids. I already crossed that line and gave them something that maybe now I regret. Maybe I wish I could go back, but the cat\u2019s already out of the bag<\/em>. Any advice that you would offer to that parent who maybe just feels a bit stuck because of that?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Well, I think there are an awful lot of things in life, Matt, by God\u2019s common grace, that are undoable. You can change courses. In fact, one of the great stories in the Bible that I just love is the story of Jonah, who ran from God. And one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Jonah 3:1 where it says, \u201cThe word of God came a second time to Jonah.\u201d We believe in fresh starts and new beginnings. And so there are times as a parent where you have to go and say, I\u2019ve made a bad decision. I see the effect on your life, and so we\u2019re going to undo this one. It\u2019s going to be hard for you, but I\u2019m doing it because I love you. And I want to confess that there are times where I just succumb to the pressure around me and make bad decisions. And I don\u2019t want those bad decisions to affect your life. So I hope you can forgive me and I hope we can get through this, but when it comes to phones and social media, we\u2019re going to have to make a change<\/em>.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s so good. And the effect of acknowledging our own mistakes to our kids and apologizing for them, that in and of itself is such a valuable practice that we as parents can be doing. But that\u2019s a helpful next step for those who are in that situation.<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Well, of course you\u2019re going to make unwise decisions over twenty years of a child being in your home. Of course you are. Get used to owning those. If I say to my child, I can\u2019t believe you would ever do such a thing!<\/em>\u2014how self-righteous and unapproachable is that? But if I say to them, You know, I know how you got yourself in this mess because I\u2019m like you, and I get into messes like this myself. But there\u2019s help for us<\/em>. There\u2019s a person they think you can talk to. <\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
So keeping in that same vein, one of the things that we can often experience as parents in those teenage years is that our kids, as they start to experience more freedom and, as you said, internalize their faith in different ways, that might lead to them struggling with some doubts\u2014doubts about God, doubts about the Bible, about things like the resurrection, and a whole host of other issues. And I think as parents that can be a really scary experience where we start to worry about our kids and worry about whether or not they going to follow Christ like I just desperately hope that they do. How should we as parents think about it when our kids come to us and start to share some of those doubts that they\u2019re wrestling with?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
By God\u2019s plan, failure is a necessary part of the growth of anything as human beings. Michael Jordan was asked how he became such a great basketball player. He said, \u201cBy failing half of the time. I learned from every moment of failure.\u201d That\u2019s why in his final season he was in the gym two hours before the game. Because every time you get up from failure and you think again, you grow. And as failure in learning math is a necessary part of getting to the point where you understand math, doubt in Christianity is a necessary part. Think about this. The fundamental concepts of Christianity are counterintuitive and unnatural for us. They just are. I\u2019m a sinner? That\u2019s counterintuitive. I tend to think I\u2019m righteous and everybody else is a mess. That there\u2019s such a thing as life after death? That\u2019s weird and counterintuitive. That there\u2019s this Being who rules the universe, that I can\u2019t see and can\u2019t hear? That\u2019s counterintuitive. That somehow the death of Jesus does something in terms of my relationship with God? That\u2019s counterintuitive. That Jesus actually died and rose again from the dead? That\u2019s counterintuitive. That there\u2019s such a thing as an ascension? That\u2019s counterintuitive. That God created this entire universe and people out of nothing? That\u2019s counterintuitive. And it\u2019s only because of enabling grace that we ever have the ability to believe any of that. So of course my child\u2019s going to doubt. Of course they\u2019re going to wonder. Of course they\u2019re going to ask questions. Of course they\u2019re going to go through seasons of struggle to believe. That\u2019s all the natural part of this. Doubt is all through the Psalms. In Psalm 73, basically Asaph says, Why are the bad guys winning and the good guys are losing?<\/em> Psalm 13: \u201cHow long, O Lord? Will you forgive me forever? How long will my enemy triumph over me and say, \u2018Where is your God?\u2019\u201d Most of us are too externally religious to give ourselves the permission to speak that way to God. And never in the Psalms do you see God slapping people for that kind of communication because he understands. My thoughts are not like God\u2019s thoughts. My way is not his way. I need help. And so doubt, instead of a tragedy, is an opportunity. If a child says to you, I don\u2019t believe that,<\/em> That\u2019s an invitation to a conversation rather than, How dare you!<\/em> And so I just think it\u2019s a natural process of internalizing the faith. Here\u2019s why doubt happens. Because in the early childhood years, the child is absorbing your faith. In the teen years, they are struggling with whether they will internalize the<\/em> faith. And that\u2019s why these doubts arise.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Another thing that we as parents can sometimes hear from our teenage kids relates to church. Whether or not they would say that they\u2019re Christians or say that they\u2019re really struggling with doubt, I think sometimes we are all hearing, at some point, a resistance to church or youth group. Things like, It\u2019s just so boring. It feels so irrelevant. Why do I need that when I can pray to God and I can read my Bible? I just don\u2019t get the point<\/em>. Again, as parents I think our temptation can be to come down hard and to just make a rule that is very clear and unambiguous. But how would you encourage parents to actually talk about the value of the church and the value of things like youth group for a kid who\u2019s pretty resistant to it?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Well, I love this question because I think, again, it\u2019s so easy when we\u2019re thinking about church just to revert to law. Do it because I told you to do it<\/em>. But I think what happens is, often the requirement to go to public worship is totally out of context. It has nothing in the child\u2019s life that makes that make sense to him. And so I always go back to you\u2019ve got to root this in a larger discussion, and the discussion is this: the most important function of every human being, whether religious or irreligious, is worship. Now, worship is not first an activity. Worship is first an identity. I am a worshiper. I am always worshiping something. That means my heart and then my behavior is shaped by the rule of some craving for something. And so I want to early have worship conversations with my child, that everything you do, every word you say, every choice you make, every act of obedience or disobedience, every moment of joy, every moment of sorrow, every happiness, every moment of satisfaction, every relationship is shaped by the worship of something. You could always trace your emotions and your behavior and your words back to worship. So why do we go to Sunday worship? Because I have to remember that I was placed on earth to worship the one thing that won\u2019t hurt or fail me\u2014God. Worship of everything else will hurt you in some way and will fail you in some way. And so Sunday after Sunday is refocusing something that I know about myself. I know I\u2019m a worshiper. I know it\u2019s dangerous to worship the creation because it hurts and fails me. And I need to be refocused again on what it means to worship God. Now, if you have that conversation, your teen still may not like to go to church, but he\u2019ll know why.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s so helpful, Paul, and I think it\u2019s so convicting in a sense too because so often our kids\u2019 misunderstanding of something, like the importance of corporate worship, can arise out of our own misunderstanding as parents. I think of another two books you\u2019ve written with Crossway that connect to these things. Awe<\/em>, which speaks to our fundamental identity as worshipers, as creatures that just need to worship something, and then Sunday Matters<\/em>, a more recent book on what the purpose of Sunday is and why we do this. So often we ourselves aren\u2019t clear on that, and so that kind of gets transferred to our kids. Maybe a last couple questions here. How do I help my teen get into the habit of daily Bible reading and prayer?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
The way you get your child interested in daily Bible reading and prayer is accessibility and realism. Accessibility is find good things that are written into the world of a teenager that make sense for him or her. Your child is not going to read Vos\u2019s Biblical Theology<\/em>, but there may be a resource that is solid that really does speak into the world of a teen. Second is be realistic. I would rather have my teenager spend five minutes with God than to hate devotions. If you have a child, I just think it\u2019s such a victory if a child will do just a brief reading and a brief prayer every morning. Praise God! Praise God! Your teenager is not going to have hour-long devotions. They shouldn\u2019t think that that\u2019s your expectation or there\u2019s something wrong with them. And you shouldn\u2019t think that they\u2019re going to be excited about reading something that wasn\u2019t written for them. And so we got to find things that are accessible to them, and we have to be realistic in our expectations.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
That\u2019s a helpful thing, and that\u2019s true probably for all of us. Even as adults we often have unrealistic expectations for ourselves that lead to discouragement, that lead us to give up and not be consistent when sometimes if we just went simpler, we would do better. That\u2019s a great segue into this new book that you\u2019ve written. But before we get to New Morning Mercies for Teens<\/em>, just talk very briefly about New Morning Mercies<\/em>. This is a book that came out a number of years ago now, a daily devotional that you\u2019ve written that I\u2019m sure many of our listeners own and have used maybe for years and have benefited from. Last I looked, I think the book has sold over a million copies worldwide since it was first published. I wonder if you could just reflect on that for a minute. What do you think of when you hear that book has sold that many copies to date?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Well, I cry because the only thing that gets me up in the morning is wanting to get the gospel into people\u2019s hearts and lives. That\u2019s all I live for. And so the fact that it\u2019s touched that many people just reduces me to tears. But the second thing I think is there\u2019s enormous hunger out there. And the hunger is for something that flows out of the Bible, that is honest and hopeful. And that\u2019s the gospel. The gospel is honest. It\u2019s sad news about the tragedy of sin, and it\u2019s glorious news about the redeeming, renewing, restoring power of God\u2019s grace. And if you don\u2019t hear the bad news, you\u2019ll never be excited about the good news. And if you hear the bad news without the good news, you want to kill yourself. And if you hear the good news without the bad news, the good news doesn\u2019t mean anything to you. So I really tried to write something that every day would be honest about life but super hopeful about the grace of God. And I think that\u2019s why the book has done what it\u2019s done.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Yeah, it does ring true. So how does this new book for teens relate to New Morning Mercies<\/em>?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I think the exact same thing. Wouldn\u2019t it be good for a teenager to have a short devotional that is really honest about life in a fallen world but really hopeful about the goodness of God\u2019s grace? The fact that there will be teenagers reading this just makes me\u2014these are brief devotionals. In just a couple of minutes you can read through. They\u2019ll touch you where you are, make you think, but give you hope.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
And how much do these pair with the full original devotional, New Morning Mercies<\/em>? Is it like where if a parent is reading the original book and your teen is reading the teen edition, do they kind of follow each other and it would be on similar themes every day or is it a kind of separate thing?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
There\u2019s going to be commonalities between the two. Some of the teen devotions are shaped to be more thematically targeted at a teen, but essentially, you would be fellowshipping in the same gospel, and it\u2019d be easy to have conversations between the two.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
And at the end of the book, you include a pretty robust Q&A where you address a bunch of common questions that teens themselves often struggle with. What I loved about it is they are questions from the perspective of a teen, questions related to anxiety and depression, sex and gender, phones and social media, and many more things that we didn\u2019t even talk about today. What was the rationale behind including something like that in this book?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
I think the rationale was it\u2019s important to have a book that is basically giving you the gospel every day under the same binding as a book that honestly speaks to the struggles that you\u2019re facing every day in your life. What this book does is say, Oh yeah, this gospel speaks into your real world<\/em>. And you really get that at the end. This is real world stuff. And so I was excited that that would all be under one cover. Now you have the gospel over here in this book, and a discussion on the real issues of a teenager\u2019s life in another book. The fact that it\u2019s under one binding I think is a really good message.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
At the beginning of the book, you note seven broad issues that teens will face that have the power to shape the trajectory of their lives. I wonder if you could just, as a last question, just briefly summarize what those issues are, and then as you think about this book as a whole, what\u2019s your hope? What\u2019s your prayer for the teenager who engages with this book? How do you hope that God uses it to help them in those areas?<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
Let me just tick through these. During these years\u2014I\u2019m addressing teens here\u2014you will begin to decide what will be the meaning and purpose of your life. Wow, how important is that? Will you internalize the faith that you have been taught? That\u2019s the second issue. Third, major decisions will set the shape of your future\u2014major decisions made during the teen years. Four, you will begin the process of stepping out of some of the daily parental protection that you\u2019ve had. Five, what kind of community will you surround yourself with? The Bible depicts how important that community is to shaping me. Six, how seriously will you pursue your relationship with God? Obviously, a very shaping thing. And then seven, what kind of success will you value most? I think, for parents, those seven things are a great basis for conversations with your teenagers.<\/p>\nMatt Tully<\/em>
Thank you so much, Paul, for taking the time today to talk with us through these common challenges and issues and questions that we as parents can face when it comes to our teens, and for writing this book that I think, Lord willing, will be a great resource for teens as they seek to make their faith their own and engage some of the questions and issues that they\u2019re coming up against each and every day.<\/p>\nPaul Tripp<\/em>
All the time over the last few months I\u2019ve thought what an enormous privilege it is for me to be able to speak into the lives of real-life teenagers who can get things right before they make the major decisions of life. Pretty exciting.<\/p>\n
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